PERCEPTION -vs- REALITY

I had a fleeting conversation with a beautifully spirited friend of mine last week about a very deep topic. I know that fleeting and deep are polar opposites, but we said just enough to tip-toe in the shallow edge, and then when I was alone with God later that night, he held my hand and walked with me into the deep end.

We spoke of how sometimes, we as Christians have perception and reality conflicts. We struggle, we doubt, we fear, we worry, but we don't share those emotions. The reality is, there are times when we know the Lord is with us, but...you can fill in that sentence yourself. I know my own struggles.

The way we allow others to perceive us, however, is usually very different from the reality. We know all of the right things to say and we say them, whether we feel them or not. "I know God is with me," "The Lord will not give me more than I can handle," This is a season and it shall pass, my strength is in the Lord." All great and true things to say, but when we say without feeling, God knows.

We seem to have this distorted view that we cannot display any doubt, fear, frustration to non-believers because then they would think we are hypocrites when we tell them that if they receive Jesus, He will comfort them during their time of need. We can't possibly show our fears to our brothers and sisters in Christ, because what if they think we are doubting the Lord? They would surely think something is wrong with us, because I am certain they never feel this way!

I have to chuckle even as I write this. Of course our brothers and sisters in Christ display these tendencies to fear, doubt, worry from time to time. God made us. He knows how we are. We inherently have these traits and the cause and effect of fear, doubt, worry, loneliness, or whatever you are feeling, is a tremendously beautiful thing. You see, when we experiences difficult times and feel these nauseating feelings, it is during those times which we cling to Him. We draw closer to Him. Then when the season is over, we find that the strength, comfort, and clarity that He gave to us could have never been found in another human, nor a distraction, nor anything on Earth.

He wants us to talk to Him about everything we feel, and He wants us to be in community with one another so that we can be lifted up in prayer to Him. He delights in us when we call on His name.

As for showing these "weaknesses" to non-believers; it proves we are human and not on a pedestal. How threatening must we seem when we display perfection. The beauty of grace is that when we fall, Jesus is standing right below us, just waiting to catch us. When we have our moments of doubt, it is not only ok, but right to share it with others and follow up with whatever lesson we learned from it and how the Lord brought us through it. Isn't that why we share our testimonies? Did God promise us that once we accepted Jesus, our lives would be perfect? NO!!!!!!! He did not! How sad and dull would we be if our life was not a continuous living testimony to not only what Christ did for us, but what He is doing for us?

I recently had a huge perception/reality conflict, and because of it, I suffered greatly both internally and externally. Lesson learned. Thank you God for continually allowing me to grow and learn. Even if I cannot see past myself sometimes, I know that I can be honest with and trust in those whom the Lord has trusted to place in my life, believer and non-believer alike. No matter what the outcome, His plan is far greater than my own.